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Gaslighter

Definition and origin

“Gaslighting” is defined by Merriam-Webster as..

1. psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator
2. the act or practice of grossly misleading someone especially for one's own advantage 

The term comes from a 1938 play, and following movies, in which, a husband deploys this sort of emotional/mental abuse to make his wife believe she is losing her mind.  This is a very real thing.  

Something I try to remember…no one is immune to being “gaslit”.  It’s a game of isolation and attrition.  If I can separate you from the world outside of my voice, I can force everything you hear to be filtered through my message, and therefore, over time, manipulate you to what I want you to believe.  If at the beginning, you believe you are not susceptible to such things, then you are doing the work for me.

Then there’s the other end of things…if I know that I’m susceptible, and I am trying to stay self aware, then I might be cautious to the point of hesitation and uncertainty, which is also doing the work for the person doing the “gaslighting”.

I do not think it is a coincidence that the term “Gaslighting” has become so popular in recent years.  With the accusations of “fake news”, “deepfake”, “deep state”, etc also being brought to the forefront of politics and U.S. Society, “Gaslighting” gets thrown in by both sides.

It’s a dangerous time we are in.  With it feeling so difficult to confirm information, it’s quite easy for someone to be overtly manipulative and still not be questioned or held accountable.  When we are not able to find certainty, we hesitate.  Hesitation creates opportunity for the manipulator to get (and do) what they want before anyone is the wiser.  

What’s special about trump/maga?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m under no illusion that this is some wildly new phenomenon.  People in power have used this sort of tactic for a long time.  It’s a basic tactical approach to gain advantage.  We see it in every sports competition.  The difference I would point out is that, “sport” is game and cerebral, and the objective is to outmaneuver your opponent.  In leadership, your constituents should not be manipulated and evaded in such a way.  

With donald trump and maga making outrageous claims without providing any true evidence, and news outlets hesitating to call it out for fear of retribution, we are having to find a way to trust our own judgement, and our discernment, with the understanding that facts are difficult to confirm.  So, it is much easier to just do nothing, and stay quiet, and let the machine roll on. 

I believe trump/maga identified “weak spots” in our system (for every system has them), and are brazenly exploiting them.  Our system moves slowly, which isn’t necessarily bad.  By moving more slowly and deliberately, the details can be examined and more accurate assessments can be made.  The weakness is, if I can move faster the system can track me, I can restructure the system to my design before it has any opportunity to course correct.  

In a more real time example…

• Completing gutting federal safeguards and/or overwhelming them to make it nearly impossible to stop potential law-breaking due to the sheer amount of time and energy it takes to review things.  trump’s bringing in DOGE, his constant attacks on any facet of the government that does not go in his favor, ect.
• If I’m president, and I don’t want to be held accountable for some things I have done, I push to change the rules to my advantage (you know, sort of like having “Presidential Immunity”, which trump pursued and was granted).  
• Or, being able to swing clear of being investigated for being a part of the largest sex-trafficking case in history by simply declaring I am "exonerated", and my followers obeying immediately (you know, like the Epstein case).  
• OR, I manage to control the outcome of elections by declaring the voter system is being “rigged” if it doesn’t go my way, and “fixed” if it does. (You know, like he has said multiple times).

One last comment on gaslighting…someone that will not acknowledge any accountability for a bad situation, is a MAJOR red flag.  Just consider, if I’m trying to control you, I need you to believe that I know exactly what I’m talking about, and that there is no chance I can be at fault, despite your senses tingling with doubt.  With that in mind, have you ever heard trump acknowledge any sort of wrong doing?  Ever?  I haven’t.  Doesn’t that seem strange? Have you ever heard any of his maga followers question his accountability?  If they did, did he keep them in his “honored company”?  

The Song

Initially written around 2020 and 2021, this song has gone through quite a transition in the last 6 years.  The primary theme of calling out those that attempt to deliberately manipulate and confuse others for personal/political gain, has remained the same.

When I first wrote “Gaslighter”, I was approaching it from a more empathetic angle.  I had strong feelings about things happening in the world around us, and I wrote the song as an attempt to reign in those feelings.  I was trying to show understanding for the 2 opposing sides of an idea, and have empathy for both. Instead of drawing a direct line in the sand (so to speak), I wanted to show that both sides seem to feel the same way about each other.  I think I was hoping it would help things make sense, and feel less scary.  At the time, trump was leaving office, and my fear of immediate threats was somewhat diminished.  In that way, it was easier to be empathetic with those that I disagreed with.

To be clear, my belief is that donald trump is (and has been for many years) gaslighting the country and the world in many ways.  He is a well documented liar, and yet he does not hesitate to double-down on falsities and double-standards.  Want some examples?  Here’s a couple of easy ones…

1. He swore Harris would get us into a new war, while he would never do such a thing…we are now in a new war
2. He said he would go after those in the Epstein files.  He said it was all democrats in the files.  No one has been arrested/detained/prosecuted by the U.S. in connection to the files.  Furthermore, the most named person in them to date…donald j trump
3. He’s made multiple statements that voter fraud is rampant, while providing zero evidence.  Furthermore, he has maintained the stance that the system was rigged in the 2020 elections, but not in the 2024 election.  He went as far as saying if he wins, the elections is not rigged, and if he loses, the election is rigged.

I also believe that I (and everyone else) do not know everything, and that I can be wrong.  This sort of self awareness can be dangerous for your health if you’re dealing with a true gaslighter.  By knowing I could be wrong, I tend to listen to input and question my decisions.  Not a bad thing on its own, but when the input is meant to make you lose trust in yourself and your instincts, this can cause one to follow out of fear and ignore obvious warning signs.

With that being said, my initial approach to writing “Gaslighter” only really led to more anxiety and frustration.   I eventually quit playing the song all together.  Along with the song making me feel more unbalanced, it felt less relevant after trump’s 1st term ended. 

As time ticked by from 2020-2025, I watched the swell of trump’s momentum continue to build without missing a beat.  Predictably, he stayed at the forefront of far-right followers.  Losing the election had bolstered his ability to misdirect the people with unfounded claims of martyrdom.  I watched people I was close to clinch tighter to ideas trump put forward (election fraud, aligning with known far-right extremist, villainizing any that have a following and spoke against him, being the victim of numerous “witch hunts”, etc).  By the time 2025 began and trump re-took office, the song had become important to me again.  The problem was that it still felt unsettling for me.  

My original lyrics that were meant to show empathy and help connect, had lost the little bit of true direction they had in the beginning.  I decided to rewrite it in a more true representation of how I was feeling. I decided to be unapologetic in my stance.  The actual lyrical changes did not change song structure or melody, they were quite simple really.  It’s the intent behind them that took the dramatic shift.  

Make no mistake, if you are a trump supporter reading this, this song is not meant to “change your mind”.  I have no illusions that will happen.  This song is for the people that have felt the gaslighters (and there are a very many of them) pulling them away from their instincts and from trusting what they are seeing in front of them. Such as:  

• Government sanctioned kidnapping by masked agents pulling people off the street, and putting them in undisclosed locations is NOT “getting the dangerous people out”. It’s a tactic to remove those that do not fit a specific vision (i.e. being white).
• Increasing voting regulations with no actual data supporting the claims of “vast voter fraud”.  From a conservative standpoint…more regulation is typically NOT what you want, and yet, we are being controlled more by the day.
• Fighting “for women” while simultaneously taking away healthcare options, voting options, and covering up what is likely the largest and most high-profile sex-trafficking ring discovered in modern history (and happens to include the sitting president in A LOT of it).

In Summation…

“Gaslighter” is meant to help remind myself why I’m speaking out, and to act as a pep-talk on days that I find myself less confident in my senses and my instincts.  I can only hope that it will be helpful to anyone else feeling the same.  

Lyrics

This white good ‘ole boy

Sittin’ on a box and tuggin’ at the strings

“He don’t mean no harm” but why would he lie and manipulate

He takes from this and he points to that

And says we imagined everything, yeah

It’s ok to think for yourself

When the change the rules think for yourself and hold the line

The gaslight has gone down, it’s not just in your head and you don’t

Owe them anything at all.

These white good ‘ole boys

Walking in the crowd and throwing quite the fit

Doin’ what their daddies done

Putting on a mask and loading up their guns

And that’s the end of my empathy

For all the damage being done, yeah,

It’s ok to think for yourself,

When they change the rules think for yourself and hold the line

The gaslight has gone down, it’s not just in your head and you don’t

Owe them anything at all.

No, you don’t owe them anything at all

Making us feel crazy

(Ingrid, you’re not crazy after all the gaslight has gone out)

That’s what they want

(Ingrid, you’re not crazy after all the gaslight has gone out)

But we’re not crazy

(Ingrid, you’re not crazy after all the gaslight has gone out)

For pushing back with all our might and all our heart..

This white good ‘ole boy

Sitting on his throne and tugging at the strings

You say “He don’t mean no harm”

You’re kidding yourself if you believe

He takes from this and he points to that

And says we imagined everything..

He takes from this and he points to that

And says we imagined everything..

He takes from us and he points to them

And says we imagined everything…

He’ll take from you and point to me,

And say we imagined everything.

Inspired by

1. Pearl Jam
2. Rage Against the Machine
3. Gaslighter (film) starring Ingred Bergman
4. Bob Dylan
5. Neill Young
6. Run the Jewels